The Power of Perception

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I'm here to talk today about perceptions, and how it shapes the way we interact, see the world, and judge our situations.

Humour is something that I feel we are losing in western society, and I don't mean laughter, I mean dark, vulgar, and yes sometimes offensive humour. I value humour as a teacher, it shows us our deepest triggers but also helps see where we have grown to overcome hardening situations.

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Living in Scotland for 7 years, I was taught the divine lesson of not caring so much. Coming from a place like Canada, where we can be too nice for our own good, being in Scotland I felt like I was back at the bully grounds in elementary school. I could not understand how people could be so downright mean and rude in discussing my circumstances or ways of acting. This country literally made me learn how to harden my aura, but also to just let go of silly things that don't actually matter. You see, their humour is dark there, and it's dark for a reason. Scotland has a huge history of oppression from their neighbour England and even till this day are presented as inferior, drunks, and chaotic by some "english standards". I lived there during the Scottish Independence vote, one that did not bode well for them. A country that is so vastly different from its neighbouring one, they've been fighting for their own independence for centuries to just finally be free from the restrictions that England places on them. This is also a very hard place to live, HORRIBLE weather, damp/cold tenant buildings for living (takes about 3 days to hang dry your clothes inside), and very little sunlight in those darker months. What I discovered after conversing with others and living there for a reasonable amount of time is that in order to accept these circumstances, one must bring light to it with humour and strength. No joke is off limits... why? Because it takes the person who is being made fun of to get out of their own body, and see the humour of their situation. As much as it was an adjustment to change my perception from being an overly sensitive Canadian to living in a place where any dumb action will be caught out and made of fun at any moments time, it was an adjustment that made me see my own privilege in a different light. Your "trauma" is not special there, because many people have lived through their own and have become stronger from it. This humour toughens you up to deal with the trauma rather than to slump in it and label yourself as a victim the rest of your life.

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While going through a very hard divorce there, I literally had so many people make jokes about my situation instead of comforting and consoling me. And you know what? I am so bloody thankful for that. I had friends that got me out of my own head and got me looking at how funny the situation could be, while also showing me that I'm not due "special treatment" for my current hard circumstances. Of course my friends were there for me, they surrounded me at that time and were always a phone call a way, but they didn't baby the situation for me, and for that I am so grateful. I look back and realize that had I not had that humour to push me through, I may still be acting as a victim today, still trying to move through it. Of course pain never really leaves, but you can either learn from it and become stronger, or sink and drown. Humour taught me to rise above my situation and see myself as a Saturn return crisis comedy movie.

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Scotland isn't the only place I see this type of humour, in fact I see it in basically all countries that are not in the western world. Indonesia, Vietnam, and Morocco are just some countries that have chosen humour over victimization. Why is that? Why is it that the countries that are not as developed as the western world don't see themselves as victims? In places where hard work is expected of you, and your day consists of working to feed your family rather than spending all day in your head wallowing in self pity, most people don't have the time to wallow. Because wallowing = weakness. Of course there is time for grieving and depression. But those who wallow in it in some countries are not the ones who survive. It's their perception of situations that separate their humour and mindset from the western world. And we all have that ability to change how we view any circumstance we are going through.

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Of course if you are not brought up that way, this can be a huge feat. If you have been conditioned to believe your situation is worse than anyone else around you, how do you just change that mindset? I believe the answer to that is humour. Allowing humour to help you see the ridiculousness of your situation (no matter how dire), can really help you get our of your own isolated body and connect you to the bigger picture. I am in no means saying that I do not think people suffer, people suffer every god damn day, but if you focus on that, where do you allow light to come shining through? Instead of society worshipping stupid pop culture icons, why don't we worship those who overcome their hard circumstances and come out of it with more compassion, grace, and humility. Why don't we all use humour as a teacher to show us where we are holding on to our wounds of victimhood? Instead of getting triggered by what is deemed "an offensive joke", why don't we get out of our own perception to see that life itself can be a joke. Trust me, you have the ability to choose how you want to view the world around you. Would you rather view it with humour, laughter, and light during your darker times? Or would you rather sink into the darkness more and risk drowning with no return? We all have that choice. We all have that choice to choose to perceive the world we want to see, and be open to sharing that love and laughter with those surrounding us. I truly hope that whoever reads this, can really sit with this message and see the ways in which you could change your own perception. Go to a comedy show, allow yourself to get offended and realize it's not the end of the world.. it's just someone elses' perception. 

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I would love to hear your feedback on this message, and see if you have any stories that helped you change your perception on things? I would love to be able to post them below (anonymously) to help others see that this is possible.

Thanks,

Sydney